• Director: Henry Winkler
• Written by: William Bleich, Dolly Parton
• Running Time: 94 minutes
• Language:
• MPAA Rating: G - General Audiences
• Cast: Dolly Parton, Lee Majors, John Ritter, Rene Auberjonois, David Ackroyd, Ashley Bank, Danny Cooksey, Dan Hedaya, Gennie James, Bo Hopkins, Anita Morris, Chad Sheets, Jean Speegle Howard, Daryl Bartley, Rance Howard, Gennie James, Linda Hoy, Chris Nash

As sure as there will be a Christmas every year, there will also surely be a dozen or so made for television Christmas movies churned out on the various broadcast networks. Few are memorable, and most, thankfully, are never re-played beyond their initial showings. Over the years, the movies have run the gamut from deeply powerful experiences, “An American Christmas Carol” being one of those cinematic glasses of rum and egg nog of which I hold dear to my heart, to the more typically monotonous, melodramatic slabs of coal; I‘m thinking of “Santa and Pete” and "Snow Wonder" to name two. Anyways, in 1985, Henry Winkler, fresh off of his role as The Fonz, teamed up with singer-actress Dolly Parton, still reeling critically from the atrocious flop that was “Rhinestone”, and the two ruminated about making a movie together. Dolly penned the script while Henry sat in the director‘s chair, and between them, they gathered a whole bunch of their celebrity friends, some tv stars and some movie stars, cast them in various big and small parts, and proceeded to make one of the best dang Christmas movies ever. Yup, I said it, “A Smoky Mountain Christmas”, the culmination of their efforts, is one of the best yuletide films ever made. Don’t believe me? Well, head on over to the imdb and check out some of the User Comments and judge for yourself.

As a modernized re-imagining of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs fairy tale, “A Smoky Mountain Christmas” plays out like a seasonal fable gone twisted, including a wicked witch and a mountain man who, despite his gruff appearance, proves himself less a toad and more a prince in need of a kiss. For Dolly, looking more beautiful than at any time in her career and dressed in a flowing white gown, she represents a notably maternal Snow White character, only instead of dwarfs, she’s tasked with loving and protecting seven orphaned children.

As producers and agents work to deconstruct her image in favour of something they deem more marketable and hip, country singer, Lorna Davis (Dolly Parton), finds herself becoming increasingly disenchanted with her chosen career. “What does this have to do with country?” she mutters to her agent following a video shoot that looks more fitting of an 80’s soft drink commercial. Wandering off the set, Lorna starts making plans to get away to remote location - away from the fans and the paparazzi, especially one nosey snapper, Harry (Dan Hedaya); a guy who embodies the very worst in sleazy stalkerazzi, including trespassing and breaking and entering. As luck would have it, her friend’s cabin in Tennessee's Smoky Mountains is sitting vacant over the Christmas holidays and she’s free to use it. In the wee hours of the night, Lorna sneaks away, although not before Harry snaps a photograph of her travel schedule. Upon arriving, she discovers that she’s not alone in the cabin as seven orphans, on the lam from a local home, have sought refuge in the unoccupied cottage. As both parties have a vested interest in maintaining their privacy, the two groups make a pact to keep quiet. Lorna and the seven children agree to share the cabin, at least until Christmas, and in their company, they grow to care for each other. For the motherly Lorna, it’s the sudden realization that part of her career disillusionment arose from the fact that she was all alone, with no one to share it with. Charged with caring for the youngsters, she embraces those mommy instincts buried deep inside.

Alongside that emerging plotline, a secondary one developments, one with many of the fantastical fairy tale elements I spoke of. Sultry Anita Morris (R.I.P.) plays Jezebel, a beautiful but over-jealous witch who haunts the forest and local taverns around the small Tennessee area where Lorna is taking refuge. And no, she isn’t some misunderstood Sabrina up to no good kind of witch, nope, Jezebel is old school Margaret Hamilton cackling evil. She moves things with her mind, and even tries to lure Lorna to her death during one particularly unsettling dream sequence. Had I seen this film as a child I probably wouldn’t have slept for a week afterward. Jezebel has a sort of whacky obsession with the local Sheriff, John Jensen (Bo Hopkins), and upon watching him sweet talking Lorna in an early scene, she immediately lines her up as her arch rival. Too bad she didn’t consult Lorna on the matter, as she views the shifty sheriff as one beat lower than pond scum. As the two women face off against each other in a battle only one of them is committed to waging, other more grounded forces are aligning against the orphans, however, there’s a shadowy mountain man roaming about the cabin keeping his eye on things. Insisting that Mountain Dan (Lee Majors) is a cannibal who feasts on small children in the wee hours of the night, the orphans have convinced Lorna that she should steer clear of the ugly, bearded fellow, well, that is until she actually meets him. Far from a cannibalistic hillbilly psychopath, Mountain Dan is actually a soft-spoken gentlemen, who, sometime in the past, broke away from the hustle and bustle of the big city and escaped to the serenity of mountain living. Coming away from their meeting, Lorna finds herself a little smitten.

Things seem to speed up considerably as the film unravels and the various plot pieces, much in keeping with the fairy tale aspect of the film, snap into place. The more fantastical elements take center stage, including a sequence where Jezebel bakes a pie laced with a dead rat which when eaten places the recipient into a multi-year sleep. Sadly, Lorna does not have the luxury of sleep as she has to try to bust the orphans out of a home after they have been rounded up by Jensen and his posse. Most fantastical of all is a sleazy paparazzi arriving in the role of guardian angel. Yes, Harry blows into town looking to bust open the case of the missing country singer, and, slowly, is drawn into Lorna’s struggle to rescue the orphans. By the end of the film, he’s immersed in the effort to liberate the kids, even appointing himself “their Uncle” during a late night custody hearing in which John Ritter appears in a cameo as the town‘s Judge, slinging a laughably bad Southern drawl. Yeah, the ending is a little too neat and tidy, even for a Christmas flick, but honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

As much as I love Dolly Parton (and, oh yeah, I do loves me some Dolly Parton), she has a very limited acting range. Her work here is in keeping with many other roles she’s played over the years; one of delightful and sweet, motherly type, always quick with a Southern twangy quip and a song, she’s rarely able to step out of her range. Even now, she has a recurring role on ’Hannah Montana’ playing essentially the same character she's playing her. While “A Smoky Mountain Christmas” doesn’t provide her with an opportunity to move outside that confine, considering that she was a co-writer on the film, she seems content in doing what she does best. Playing concerned mom to a bunch of lost kids or lover to an incredibly subdued Lee Majors, such is the breadth of her range and she works well within it. Had she and Anita Morris switched roles, I suspect this would be a very very different film. Also good is Dan Hedaya as a pesky paparazzi, whose transition from sleazeball to redeemed saviour, was fun. Bo Hopkins, forever typecast as a sheriff, and John Ritter, playing against type as a Judge, provide two of the cooler cameos in the film. It was a joy seeing both of these guys.

Considering that the Country Music Channel (CMT) has placed this film in their regular rotation, I’m gonna suggest that you keep your eyes tuned to that channel next Christmas. Maybe you’ll catch it. Trust me, it’s worth catching.